8 Worst Body Language Mistakes/Tips For Non-Verbal Communication Skills

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Hey TD!

Both the guys and the girls groups had tremendous times at T&T Night.  Not only did we discuss issues, but we began learning little nuances that go a long way towards not only fulfilling the bottom-line big-picture practical duties of becoming future men and women of God, but also the manner in which we learn to fulfill those roles.

At church, often times, we focus on what to say to people; we don’t spend enough time on how we say it … including our body language. While we want to make sure we don’t use learned external mannerisms as ways to portray ourselves or to manipulate how people think of us, we don’t want to go to the other extreme and not pay any attention to what our mannerisms may communicate to others.

When I saw this list from learnex, I immediately knew this would be useful for us at TD, as many of us can be … hmmm, let’s be honest … underwhelming … in the vibe we give and the impression we leave. Some of it may indeed be that we really don’t care much about the vibe we give people. For those of you who fall into that category, that needs to change. However, for others, it’s not that you don’t care; rather, it’s that you don’t know what needs to be adjusted or how to do it.

So, for the sake of continuing conversation with those around you – both outside and inside the church – check out these body language mistakes and see where you could improve (I’ve edited, added to, and adjusted some parts for conciseness and clarity):

Eye contact

The first one is avoiding eye contact.  When you are not looking into the person’s eye, it shows that you’re either nervous or not confident about yourself … and you’re being a little disrespectful. So you definitely don’t want to show these emotions. You’re probably just nervous, but making eye contact is extremely important.

Slouching

When you slouch in front of people while talking with them, it shows you’re not confident, have poor self-esteem, and don’t have the energy for them. It conveys that you’re bored talking with them.

Hand-shake

Make sure that you give a firm but warm handshake to the people that you meet because it’s a sign of  … of confidence and engagement. When you give a poor or weak handshake, it shows that you are least interested in shaking hands or dealing with that person. A very aggressive, very firm handshake is also not acceptable.

Arms folded

Folded arms can possibly show that you’re nervous, not confident, or uninterested. If you lean back with your arms folded, it could give off the impression that you are skeptical or wanting to keep your distance.

Frowning & Scowling

Frowning and scowling while conversing with someone may give the vibe that you have already jumped to a conclusion and made a negative judgment before knowing the context and considering all the facts. This could make someone more reticent to share openly and freely.

Invading Privacy & Space

There are people who love to invade others’ space. For example, you’re at your workplace and your co-worker comes in and just sticks around you way too much and you don’t want that. You want him or her to maintain distance. There are people who treat your possessions or your space as if it’s their own. They may be crossing personal boundaries. It’s important to maintain your boundaries when you are talking to a person or hanging around them. You want to maintain the appropriate space and distance commensurate with your relationship – not too close and not too far.

Fidgeting

Fidgeting with an item in your hand, with your hair, or constantly moving are signs of nervousness and being uncomfortable in the conversation, which can lead the one you’re speaking with to become uncomfortable conversing with you as well.

Glancing at the clock/checking your phone

Glancing at the clock or checking your phone during a conversation gives the impression that you can’t wait for this conversation to be over or that the person you’re speaking with isn’t very important to you. You may have legitimate reasons to look at your watch or the clock, or you to check your phone – maybe you have another appointment afterwards and you don’t want to be late, or you are expecting an important text; just make sure you communicate that with the person you’re with, so you don’t leave them wondering and feeling unimportant.


1 Cor. 10:31 implores us, “Whether then you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” This includes working on glorifying God in the way that you converse with others; loving others enough to work on communicating with them considerately and with care. It’s something for all of us to consider, including me. Let’s keep working on it! – Arthur

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T&T Night on Friday! Info here

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Hey TD!

This Friday is T&T Night! For those of you who don’t know, T&T Night is the night where all the gals and all the guys meet together in our own gender groups to discuss and work through issues and topics relevant and pertaining to our genders.

THIS WOULD BE A GOOD NIGHT TO INVITE A FRIEND (perhaps an FFT friend), so they can interact with us and get to know us. They’ll also be able to see what a Christian approach to various issues looks and sounds like. Hopefully, they’ll be able to see that looking through God-centered biblical lenses is not only quite reasonable, but quite profitable as well. Obviously, the same goes for you TD’ers.

Info:

Girls – meet at 6 p.m. at church

Guys (potluck) – meet at 6:30 p.m. at Arthur’s home for Tri-Tip and more. Bring a main dish or a side dish.

Please RSVP with your small group leaders!

Food For Thought ’18 Photo Album, Message, and Offer

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Hey TD!

Click the link below to see the first FFT ’18 photo album!

Food For Thought ’18 Photo Album

Click on the right to listen to Daniel’s message: “Identified – FFT ’18” – Daniel (mp3 message)

As we’ve shared in TD, we want to follow-up on FFT and continue to help you reach your friends with the love and security of Christ. Just let one of your leaders know and we’ll get behind you and help you continue in conversations that count with your friends, maybe over boba and popcorn chicken? 🙂 (our treat!) You get your friends together and we’ll be there!

 

TD Fri. – TD Pre-Party @7:15, Msg. & SG Discussion

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Hey TD!

We have a fun and full TD in store for us this Friday, starting with the TD Pre-Party @ 7:15 p.m. We’ll also have time in our small groups, as well as a short message on “Blessing Those Who Persecute You” from Rom. 12:14, as we continue our series, “Renew: Transforming Our Life in Christ”.

Please work on trying to have Romans 12:1-14 memorized by this Friday:

1Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. 2And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

      3For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith. 4For just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function, 5so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. 6Since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, each of us is to exercise them accordingly: if prophecy, according to the proportion of his faith; 7if service, in his serving; or he who teaches, in his teaching; 8or he who exhorts, in his exhortation; he who gives, with liberality; he who leads, with diligence; he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness.

      9Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good. 10Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor; 11not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; 12rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer, 13contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality.

      14Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.

Let’s finish the year strong, TD!

TD Fri. – “Food For Thought ’18” is Over – Now What?

2018 FFT

Hey TD!

Last Saturday night, high schoolers came to Food For Thought ’18 from all over the SGV to have a great time over great food and to engage in great open, honest, and safe dialogue that was spurred on by a great talk given by Daniel. Conversations were vibrant and alive as people stayed well past the designated finish time to continue discussing things of significance. But now what do we do, now that FFT is over?

Listen to FFT ’18 message here: “Identified – FFT ’18” – Daniel (mp3 message)

This Friday night at TD, we’ll learn how to continue the conversations meaningfully and respectfully, yet effectively in His Name.  We’ll work on next steps to take to not only continue the conversations with your friends, but to do so in a way that leaves everyone feeling refreshed and challenged at the same time.

See you Friday!

 

Life-Changing Trips For TD’ers This Summer

Hey TD!

One thing that made Los Angeles Lakers legend, Magic Johnson, one of the best basketball players of all time was his resolve to continue to get better each year; and the summer is when he went to work on adding new dimensions to his game before each new season.

Summer is an awesome opportunity to for you to “up your game” too. Whether it’s going overseas or staying in the US to serve others in Christ’s Name (and growing immensely in the process) or going to a special conference focused on helping to equip you better for the journey ahead, prayerfully consider how you can make the most of this summer to grow in honoring the Lord.

Here are some trips to consider that some fellow TD’ers and TD leaders will be participating in – Bring Me Hope’s Summer Camp, RZIM’s ReFresh Conference, and our very own Youth Summer Missions Project (YSMP). Check them out below:

Bring Me Hope Summer Camp 2018

Sponsored by Bring Me Hope

July 30 – August 3, 2018 in Zhengzhou, China

TO LOVE

Our five day summer camps center around bringing forgotten children out of orphanages to experience a week of fun, love, and attention. This often includes many firsts for the kids—their first time swimming, eating ice cream and hearing “I love you”. Demonstrating God’s love in action is what camp is all about.

TO DEFEND

Most overseas trips end when you fly home, leaving you with only memories and pictures. However, our desire is for you to continue to have an impact long after you’ve left camp. Through our advocacy program, you can bring awareness to your child’s needs and even help find adoptive families. Our goal is to equip volunteers to defend vulnerable children.

DAY 1: The kids are coming! Today, you become a proud “parent” as you and your translator(s) are paired with 1-2 children to form a family group. Spend the day getting to know each other before you begin an amazing week of camp!

DAY 2-4: Let the fun begin! Camp is filled with activities for your family group to enjoy together. From arts & crafts to talent shows to dance parties, this is a week for your child to explore new experiences in a safe environment. You will have the unique opportunity to empower these children and show them unconditional love during camp. These are the moments that Bring Me Hope Camp was created for!

DAY 5: Today is the day that the children go home to the orphanage. It’s a bittersweet celebration of the relationships you’ve created and how far your family group has come in just 5 short days. It becomes more than just the last day of camp; You are left with memories and passion to do something about this orphan crisis.

AFTER CAMP: Bring Me Hope will provide you with the skills and training to make a greater impact on these children’s lives when you fly back home. You will be given the privilege to be an advocate for the children’s needs and help them find adoptive families!

If you have detailed questions about the camp, you can ask Megan, Calvin, Elissa, Melody T., Sissi, or Abigail, who all went last year.  Check out BMH Summer Camp and contact a TD leader if you have interest in going this summer.

If you are interested in doing the Bring Me Hope internship, ask Megan, Calvin, Angela, Sissi, or Aileen what they’ve been doing: BMH Internship

“ReFresh: Ready For College?” Conference for High School and College Students

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Hosted by Ravi Zacharias International Ministries (RZIM)

July 24-27, 2018 @ The Zacharias Institute in Atlanta, GA

 

Are you a high school upperclassman or a college freshman? Then don’t miss out on ReFresh. As students, you know what it’s like to be surrounded by questions. It can be easy to feel overwhelmed. In the face of so many questions, how can you keep your faith strong? Are you prepared to answer the questions and objections of your friends and classmates? At ReFresh, no question is off limits, whether questions asked from within the Christian faith, or questions from those without faith. We want to give you the space to think through some of the toughest challenges to Christianity and equip you to live out your faith at high school and on campus. You will have the opportunity to interact with and learn from Ravi Zacharias and many other members of RZIM’s Global Speaking Team. ReFresh is designed for students, youth groups, and their leaders.

 

Check out ReFresh: Ready For College for more info and contact a TD leader if you are interested.

 

YSMP 2018

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YSMP is our youth short-term mission trip to the Native American reservations in Arizona. The dates are July 6-14, 2018, and the cost is $170 per person. Our two-fold purpose and prayer for this mission trip is:

1) To participate in the proclamation of God’s glory in the gospel by bringing annual short-term support the local church pastors and congregations within the Native American Reservations in Arizona. Our aim is to hear the needs and vision of the local church pastor and assist the church with our team.

2) To provide a learning experience for our youth and other church members who want to explore cross-cultural missions. We desire for participants to get a sense of the devotion to Christ, training, focus, and flexibility it takes to be on mission, to be challenged to share their faith, and to have their eyes opened to the need for the gospel in less-reached areas.

Each year the YSMP coordinators touch base with each church in the reservation sites to see what kind of support they would like from the STM team. Generally, what that support takes form in:

1) VBS and Youth Camp

2) Visitations and Evangelism

3) Adult Bible Studies

4) Work Projects and Harvest Night

Prayerfully consider joining us on this short-term mission trip! If you have any questions, contact Robert at bobert.chan@gmail.com.

Calling All TD’ers – TD “Town Hall” Mtg. on Friday

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Hey TD,

We are requesting all TD’ers to come to TD this Friday.

Coming off of last week’s honest and open (and unexpected) “TD family” meeting and right before next week’s Food For Thought outreach, we decided to delay this month’s message until next month and instead use this Friday’s meeting to regroup, re-calibrate, and reset ourselves as a TD family.

So, we will hold a “town hall” meeting to discuss who we are, what we do, how we do it, what our core DNA is, what our calling is, where we’re going,  etc.  We’ll also continue the discussion started last week as we seek to develop our culture into a safe community where we can actually deal with the highs and lows of life together – safely, lovingly, graciously, humbly, sensitively, clearly, and biblically.

Our potential together as a united fellowship family, under God, is amazing. When we sacrifice for one another, lay down our “arms,” and unite under His banner, incredible God-honoring things take place. TD’s history bears that out.  Will you be a part of writing the next chapter?

See you Friday! – Arthur