Are you anxious about the future? The fact is that we all are, to some degree. How we live with those fears will in fact heavily influence that very future we fear. As I read the article below, I couldn’t help but think of the paralyzing fear that parents can have when they are told that their unborn child will be born with special needs.
When Sandra was pregnant with our eldest, Nathaniel, our doctor recommended an amniocentesis to be taken. This is a procedure where the doctor draws amniotic fluid from the mother’s amniotic sac for testing. When we asked what they would be testing for and why she recommended it, the doctor said that they would be testing for Down Syndrome, so we could abort the baby if the results came out positive. We said that we would be keeping the baby no matter what. I asked if there were other health concerns for Sandra to take the amnio. The doctor said no. So we refused the procedure.
The article below also reminds me of when Sandra was pregnant with our fourth child. At the time, we had three boys, so people at church would often ask whether it was a boy or a girl, and say something like, “You want a girl, right?” I would reply that we didn’t know and that we’d be totally fine with whatever God gave us. And then sensing where we were coming from, they would say something like, “Oh yes, yes, of course. Well, as long as it’s healthy,” leaving us once again to try to gently disagree with them, though I knew they were well meaning. So, my response would be, “We will take whatever God gives us, boy or girl, healthy or not. It will be our child and we will him or her fully, regardless.” That child turned out to be Angela, and as promised, we love her fully indeed!
Courtney Baker’s doctor recommended her to abort her daughter after her amniocentesis results came in. And boy is she glad she didn’t! Here is a powerful letter she and her daughter, Emmy, recently wrote to her doctor. Please read and glean!
See you at TD this Friday! – Arthur
Girl With Down Syndrome Posts Letter to Doctor Who Wanted Parents To Abort Her
“This is Emmy, mailing our letter to the prenatal specialist who didn’t want her to live. He repeatedly suggested we abort. He said her and our quality of life would be horrible.” Emmy’s mother Courtney Baker says, “He was so unbelievably wrong. I want to do something to advocate, but other than my letter to him, I don’t know what yet.”
Emmy was diagnosed prenatally with Down syndrome.
Last month, Courtney wrote the doctor a letter- the very one Emmy mailed off to the specialist who suggested so many times she abort her daughter. And here is a copy of the letter.
A friend recently told me of when her prenatal specialist would see her child during her sonograms, he would comment, “He’s perfect.” Once her son was born with Down syndrome, she visited that same doctor. He looked at her little boy and said, “I told you. He’s perfect.”
Her story tore me apart. While I was so grateful for my friend’s experience, it filled me with such sorrow because of what I should have had. I wish you would have been that doctor.
I came to you during the most difficult time in my life. I was terrified, anxious and in complete despair. I didn’t know the truth yet about my baby, and that’s what I desperately needed from you. But instead of support and encouragement, you suggested we terminate our child. I told you her name, and you asked us again if we understood how low our quality of life would be with a child with Down syndrome. You suggested we reconsider our decision to continue the pregnancy.
From that first visit, we dreaded our appointments. The most difficult time in my life was made nearly unbearable because you never told me the truth.
My child was perfect.
I’m not angry. I’m not bitter. I’m really just sad. I’m sad the tiny beating hearts you see every day don’t fill you with a perpetual awe. I’m sad the intricate details and the miracle of those sweet little fingers and toes, lungs and eyes and ears don’t always give you pause. I’m sad you were so very wrong to say a baby with Down syndrome would decrease our quality of life. And I’m heartbroken you might have said that to a mommy even today. But I’m mostly sad you’ll never have the privilege of knowing my daughter, Emersyn.
Because, you see, Emersyn has not only added to our quality of life, she’s touched the hearts of thousands. She’s given us a purpose and a joy that is impossible to express. She’s given us bigger smiles, more laughter and sweeter kisses than we’ve ever known. She’s opened our eyes to true beauty and pure love.
So my prayer is that no other mommy will have to go through what I did. My prayer is that you, too, will now see true beauty and pure love with every sonogram.
And my prayer is when you see that next baby with Down syndrome lovingly tucked in her mother’s womb, you will look at that mommy and see me then tell her the truth: “Your child is perfect.”
Courtney told ParkerMyles.com, “Emmy has two siblings. Rhyan is almost 15 and Evynn is 11. They are crazy about their sister!! They had been through so much at that point [when we received the diagnosis].
We tried to be honest with them while keeping strong in our faith, but they knew about our pain and struggles with the specialist. When they heard that her diagnosis was confirmed at her birth, they were afraid.
Emmy was taken from me immediately after birth because of low oxygen levels, so the girls met her when I did. It was such a surreal moment after all that time of fear and heartache. She was there and she was ours.
The girls both said that at soon as they met her they fell in love. And it was obvious. A lot of healing happened at that moment. We never looked back to the fear and sadness, it’s been onward in the smiles and joy. Rhyan is the calm, quiet, motherly refuge for Emmy. Evynn is the wild, fun, cracking up laughter for her. They are a perfect trio.”